not my space

14 Sep

I had a myspace account.

No, I’m not proud. It wasn’t big. And neither was it clever.

I don’t know why I had one. I never, ever visited it myself. Oh, I had one friend – some admin dude that became so automatically, such is the queerness of t’eh interwebs. I seem to think I joined to look at some hot girl’s extended photo gallery, but I couldn’t be sure. All I know is that I had an account, and now I don’t. I killed it. I killed it until it was dead.

It took some time. It struggled. It pleaded. It sobbed. But I was firm. I knew it had to be done. I could show no mercy…

Are you sure you wish to delete your account? Please confirm.

Yes.

Are you really sure?

YES!

If you continue you will lose all your network?

WHAT FUCKING NETWORK? YES!

An email has been sent to your inbox?

Why? WTF?

If you confirm your account deletion, you will not be….

JUST FUCKING DIE YOU BASTARDY MURDOCH-OWNED PIECE OF MONKEY SHIT. DIE AGGGHHHH!!!!

Your account has been deleted. Please allow 48-hrs for your account to be updated. In order for us to improve our service, could you please tell myspace why you have chosen to terminate your account?

NO! Why the buggery bollocks should I? I only wanted to look at the hot girl. She looked sweet. I never used your bloody crappy network anyway. JUST DIE YOU POO-STAIN.

And so ends tyger’s myspace account. RIP

UPDATE: Thanks to Johninnit for pointing me in the direction of this desperately pathetic story of facebook wankery. Jesus H. Christ.

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4 Responses to “not my space”

  1. john@petpie.co.uk September 14, 2007 at 11:15 am #

    Hmmm – don’t ever attempt to delete a Facebook account then! 😉http://www.stevenmansour.com/writings/2007/jul/23/2342/2504_steps_to_closing_your_facebook_account

  2. john@petpie.co.uk September 14, 2007 at 11:15 am #

    Hmmm – don’t ever attempt to delete a Facebook account then! 😉http://www.stevenmansour.com/writings/2007/jul/23/2342/2504_steps_to_closing_your_facebook_account

  3. aaronsheath@gmail.com September 14, 2007 at 11:30 am #

    Lol. It’s not plagiarism, I promise! Mind you, he’s done a much better job than me.

  4. aaronsheath@gmail.com September 14, 2007 at 11:30 am #

    Lol. It’s not plagiarism, I promise! Mind you, he’s done a much better job than me.

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