empty house

13 Sep

Having an empty house is not always great.

I know some of you stressed-out dads would not agree. “BLISS,” you’d scream. “HEAVEN,” you would no doubt cry. But seriously, and I say this with the absolute minimum intended smuggary, it really isn’t that great. I have been alone here at chez-tyger for over a month now, and I’m finally starting to give in to cabin fever, pissing in the corner, and eating directly from cans. I haven’t yet begun scrawling threats on the walls, but let’s be honest, it’s only a matter of time.

Yes, you can finally dust off your jazz collection and give those yet-unlistened Christmas presents a good play. And of course you can at last tackle the extended version of the Lord of the Rings DVD box-set. I even resorted to reading the Harry Potter books – all of them, in little over five weeks… surprisingly good (well not that much of a surprise, I guess. I mean, the bloody woman’s richer than Croesus). But once the books have been read, the music exhausted, and you’re finally fed-up with reheated Chinese food and smoked turkey sandwiches, you begin to yearn for the warm care of a woman.

You miss the kids too. While normally I’d agree to group-sex with a gang of repressed Republican congressmen, just for an afternoon away from the madness, after a few days of solitude and silence you sort of wish the little monkeys were around. Knocking stuff over, cracking their heads against cupboards, and typing gibberish on your laptop – it’s all rather endearing in its absence.

So next time you’re dreaming of peace and quiet – yearning for freedom and space, be careful what you wish for…

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4 Responses to “empty house”

  1. ashoksoni@hotmail.com September 13, 2007 at 11:30 am #

    (extended) family (extended) family. where art thou.

  2. ashoksoni@hotmail.com September 13, 2007 at 11:30 am #

    (extended) family (extended) family. where art thou.

  3. aaronsheath@gmail.com September 13, 2007 at 11:33 am #

    Actually I had my parents over last night for tea. They also had an hour or so on the webcam chatting to Mrs. tyger and the sprogs via messenger. Very impressed they were too. My mum grew up in Australia so could see how this technology could have transformed their experience away from England.

  4. aaronsheath@gmail.com September 13, 2007 at 11:33 am #

    Actually I had my parents over last night for tea. They also had an hour or so on the webcam chatting to Mrs. tyger and the sprogs via messenger. Very impressed they were too. My mum grew up in Australia so could see how this technology could have transformed their experience away from England.

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